Understanding How to Help a Loved One with Substance Use Disorder.
When you love someone struggling with substance misuse, it's natural to want to help them change. However, it can feel overwhelming and confusing when our loved one doesn't seem ready to change and you have no idea where to start.
The good news is that research shows us that families can have a powerful, positive impact on their loved one's change process.
By developing a new perspective and understanding the complexities of substance use disorder, we can offer meaningful support that resonates with our loved ones and encourages them to engage with us for more support.
The Motivational Approach to Substance Use Recovery
Substance use disorder has long been stigmatized and misunderstood. The cultural narrative surrounding it can include views of character flaws, disease, and skepticism about change.
However, science has provided us with a deeper understanding of substance use disorder, including its development, supports for change, and factors that sustain change and motivation. By embracing this scientific perspective, we become more flexible, effective, and resilient in our efforts to help our loved ones.
Key Strategies for Encouragement and Connection in Substance Use Recovery
Behaviors Make Sense: Every behavior, including substance use, serves a purpose. Understanding what reinforces their behavior is key to developing new helping strategies. By identifying the underlying motivations for substance use, we can find alternative, healthier ways to meet their needs.
Ambivalence is Normal: Change is often accompanied by ambivalence, they will often have conflicting desires to both change and maintain the status quo. Recognizing that ambivalence is normal and to be expected, allows us to respond with empathy and understanding, rather than frustration and judgment.
Pay Attention to Communication: Effective communication is essential in supporting change. Language can be a powerful tool for reinforcement, both positive and negative. By slowing down and truely listening, by pausing and creating a response gap, we can ensure that our communication reinforces positive changes and fosters connection.
One Size Does Not Fit All: Each individual and family is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to change. What works for one person and their family may not work for another. By understanding and respecting your uniqueness, we can tailor our support to meet all your specific needs.
Your North Star and Willingness: Clarifying our values and staying true to them is essential in supporting change. It's important to understand that pursuing our values may involve discomfort and pain, but it's worth it to stay committed to what matters most.
Balancing Self-Care and Support in Substance Use Recovery: Navigating the complexities of supporting a loved one through substance use disorder can be incredibly challenging, especially when you're grappling with your own feelings of hurt, guilt, shame, resentment, pain, and trauma. Recognizing and acknowledging these emotions is a crucial aspect of self-awareness and self -care. It's important to remember that these feelings are valid and normal given the circumstances. Seeking support for yourself, whether through coaching, support groups, or other forms of self-care, can be instrumental in managing these emotions and maintaining your well-being. By taking care of yourself and addressing your own emotional needs, you can better support your loved one with compassion and understanding. Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s a necessary part of being a strong, effective support system.
Embracing the Journey of Substance Use Recovery: Change doesn’t always happen as quickly as we hope, it takes time and practice and it can indeed be a messy process. Whether it's learning new behaviors to replace substance use or learning how to support a loved one, patience and compassion are essential. But with the right encouragement, connection, and respect for autonomy, positive changes can and do happen. Creating an environment where motivation to change can grow naturally, embracing the messiness of the learning process and being willing to practice are all key to facilitating change.
Conclusion: Supporting a loved one through substance use disorder is a challenging journey, but it's a journey that can lead to meaningful change and growth for both you and your loved one. By understanding the complexities of substance use disorder, practicing effective communication, and staying true to your values, you can provide invaluable support that encourages your loved one to consider change. It's also essential to prioritize self-care and seek support for yourself, as navigating these challenges can take a toll on your emotional well-being. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Reach out for support when you need it, and together, we can navigate these challenges and foster positive change.
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Warm regards,
Sandra
Family Recovery Coach
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