For the mum who thinks something must be wrong with her
You Are Not Broken
A free guide for mums whose child is struggling with addiction, for the moments when you can't work out why you're not coping better.
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No spam. Just the guide, and the occasional email from me, mum to mum.
Maybe the phone rings and your heart jumps before you even know who it is.
Maybe you've stopped making plans, because you never know what tomorrow will bring.
Maybe you've started asking yourself things like, why can't I cope with this better? Why can't I just let go?
If any of that sounds familiar, you're not the only mother asking those questions right now.
And the answer isn't that something is wrong with you.
You Are Not Broken is a short, free guide for mums in exactly this place, written by someone who has lived it too, and who wanted, more than anything, for someone to have handed her something like this back then.
What's inside
Two short chapters, not another to-do list
Read a little, stop when something speaks to you, and come back when you need to. It isn't something else you have to get right.
- Chapter One: You Are Not BrokenWhy the exhaustion, the constant worry and the feeling of being worn down make sense, and aren't proof you're failing.
- The grief nobody talks aboutGrief for the life you hoped your child would have, for the family occasions that have changed, and for the woman you were before all of this.
- What your body is doingWhy your body goes on high alert when the phone rings, and why telling yourself to stop worrying has probably never worked.
- Trying to solve something you can't solveWhy a mother who has always fixed things ends up trying harder, worrying more and blaming herself when it doesn't change.
- Chapter Two: The Second LayerThe layer of self-blame most of us pile on top of an already hard situation, and how to start putting it down, without pretending everything you've done was helpful.
- Two short, guided pausesA few quiet minutes to notice what you've actually been carrying, and a gentle way to look at one thing you've been giving yourself a hard time about.
This is for you if any of this sounds like your life right now
- The phone ringing sends your heart straight into your throat, before you've even looked at who it is
- You've read the tough love and rock bottom advice, and none of it has ever sat right with you
- You can't remember the last time you felt like yourself, rather than just your child's mother
- You're carrying grief for a version of your family's life that never happened, and you don't know where to put it
- You keep telling yourself you should be handling this better, and you're starting to believe it
You won't be the first to feel less alone in this
I had lost myself in all that had gone on the last few years and in the last few weeks with your lessons and reflections and meetings, I have started to find glimmers of my old self and have been learning to ground myself again.
A mum inside Beyond the Chaos
This journey at times feels insurmountable - but with the support of this group, a little easier. A little less lonely.
A mum inside Beyond the Chaos
These reflect Sandra's wider coaching work. This guide is where that same understanding begins.
A note from me
I'm Sandra. My son has struggled with substances for years, and there were nights I lay awake Googling, blaming myself, and slowly losing every part of me that used to feel like, well, me.
I couldn't find anything that let me stay close to him without losing myself in the process. Everything out there was tough love, rock bottom, detach and wait. None of it was what a mother does.
So I trained properly in this. I'm a qualified health and mental health coach, trained in CRAFT, Invitation to Change, Motivational Interviewing and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and I built Beyond the Chaos, a community for mums walking this same road.
I wrote You Are Not Broken because I wished someone had put it in my hands back then. Now I get to put it in yours.
Sandra x
You don't have to work any of this out right now
You just need somewhere to start.
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No spam. Just the guide, and the occasional email from me, mum to mum.
